Today is not opposite day, brat. You’re not supposed to stop talking when I finally want you to and you’re definitely not supposed to keep talking when I don’t.
But what if you… hurt me?
Care to be my test subject? I’ll only know if I test out the theory first if it’s a good idea or not. I don’t like guess work and you were the one that suggested it. No, no, keep talking. I’m enjoying this now.
I don’t kill people. There’s no fun in that. If I kill my students then I’ve got no one to pick on every day. I get joy in other’s pain. It’s probably for the best.
Maiming then? You can still pick on a maimed student. Okay, I’m done talking now because I think I’m just giving you ideas.
Pretty sure I can since I just did. Do you really want to mess with me, kid? I’ll take that ecstatic and shove it up your fucking lily white ass in two seconds. Excuse you, but I get some on a more regular basis than you do, trust me on that one. I am happy. I’m a happy person. Don’t I look it?
W-Well right now you’re looking more like you’re about to go into a murderous rage than happy. So maybe I should just stop talking.
I’ll take that ecstatic and shove it up your fucking lily white ass in two seconds
No. Don’t be happy about that. Don’t be happy at all. Hmm, consequences, yeah, but I think in this case the reward might out weight the consequences. Let me think a while and I’ll get back to you on that one. You getting some? That’s a good one.
Hey, you can’t tell me whether to be happy or not. And you know what? I’m not just happy, I’m ecstatic. You’re just saying that because you probably haven’t gotten some in forever, because if you did, you’d be happy, and we all know that you’re never happy.
I don’t think I can do it. I can’t prank people, this is something my older sisters would do.
I’d give you some ideas but they’d probably just make it worse for you seeing that I’m shit at pranks. If you want some good tips, I’d suggest you go see James Potter; he’s dealt with Peeves plenty of times.
Oh goodie. You’ve just made my day, actually. Next I’ll expect full waterworks so good luck to you in the future. No referring to sex around me, we both know you’re not getting any.
I’m happy I brightened up your most likely shitty day for you, Professor. That would only happen if you punched me in the face, and we both know the consequences to that, so instead I’ll choke out a sob or two. Hey, I get some! Just… not on a daily basis.
He kept popping out of nowhere, I was kind of scared.
You’ll get used to it. Or if you can find a way to outsmart him or out-prank him, he’ll back off a bit… I think.